One Year

One Year.

I can hardly believe it that it's already been that long. Sometimes it just feels like yesterday that I packed up my stuff from what had become my little haven in Spring Acres. And yet here I stand one year later.  And looking back I wouldn't take back a thing.  There were many, many hard days of missing home. Many dark dreary days where it seemed like the clouds would never part and break through with His light. Some days where clinging with white knuckles to His promises were all that kept me looking ahead. But yet in that place was right where God wanted to teach me the most. Taking me deeper on this adventure with Him and showing me that I can trust Him in the darkness, step out into the unknown with Him, and have confidence and peace because the Creator of this universe holds my hand and knows my course. I think most of all He's taught me that He wants me to continually take courageous steps of faith for the rest of my life. There may be times where the road is twisting and turning so much that ahead is a complete unknown, and that's okay because it's not me who determines my path. He's not done with me. He's not finished with His work inside me. And that is a reason to rejoice because it is joy being apart of what He is doing.

Just 3 weeks ago we started the first CWS group in Lincoln. It's been challenging, but at the same time so cool to watch what God is doing. I'll be honest, I miss college ministry. But my life isn't based off that. I am here to be an ambassador of Christ…whether in college, the singles, married, or whatever stage, that is my purpose.

Here's to one year!

You're gonna miss this.

We've reached the end. The finish line has arrived, and here begins the next year. Funny how I still count years by school years (guess being in the Rock 6 years will do that to you).

I've been thinking about a song this country song lately. There's a line in the chorus that goes "You're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times. So take a good look all around. You may not know this now, but you're gonna miss this."

All of my life it seems I'm constantly looking ahead and thinking that the next stage, or if I could just be here or there, or if I was just married, or if I was just.... fill in the blank with whatever. Anything, but the here and now. And when I look back I miss what used to be, even though at the time my gaze was fixed ahead at what would make my life better. One day I will look at the years I first moved to Lincoln and I truly believe I will miss it. Somehow in the bigger picture the hardships, the roughness, the pain...it seems to fade some, but what lasts is the joys and the times of laughter. That is what sticks. And I don't want to look back with regrets because I was took focused on the future.

Now that I've reached the end of the summer, almost a year of living in Lincoln, I feel like I've finally started to see progress in these relationships. The light I've been waiting for at the end of the tunnel. The water in the desert. The goodness in the land I was trusting the Lord to bring. And now after seeing this, I've been a little sad that now I will be leaving the Rock. But I was reminded at how God continues to ask me to take more steps of faith. He doesn't want me to stay the same. He wants to continue this adventure. A friend said to me...it's like you've stepped out in faith, God's done so much, and yet He's like "let's just keep moving forward, daughter." And that's so true. I've told the Lord time and time again that I don't ever want to become stagnant in my walk. Stagnant water sits, unyielding, completely useless and it just plain stinks. I don't want my life to be that. And so He keeps pushing me further and further along. Sometimes it just take a little nudge and then there's other times where it seems He's almost shoving me down a scary and unknown road, but there comes a point when I finally see it. The plans for good He had whispered in my ear as I took baby steps along the path. The joy in the pain and toil. That it is worth it. And sometimes that takes a really really long time, and what feels like really really long days and months just pushing the plough. But you know what's so cool about my King...is that He knows, He understands, He gets it. He stands with me through the tears and the questions. He holds my shaking hands when I feel unsure, He comforts me when my heart is breaking and it feels like I can't do it anymore, and He doesn't give up on me even when I want to throw that heavy plough down. He reminds me of His truth and the bigger picture. And He pushes me to keep going. I will choose to continue trusting Him for His goodness in this land.

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:13-14